Michael and the rest of the
party group were quiet when Larry,
Wayne and Bob announced the first
key to his success.

"Always be full of hot air."

Michael had devoted much of his
life to achieving this goal. Those
who knew him agreed that he was
definitely full of it.

The second key of success was

"Stay young"

Michael maintained his youthful
appearance by following a strict
exercise program. His favorite
activity seemed to be jogging to the
refrigerator.

Unfortunately, staying young
was difficult after 38 birthday
celebrations. In face, lighting the
candle on his birthday cake was
considered a fire hazard for Michael
and everyone else present at the
party.

Believing that

"No mountain is too hard to climb"

was another component of the success
formula for Michael.

Anyone who had ever seen
Michael demolish a mountain of ice
cream topped with whipped cream and
a cherry realized the truth of this
statement. He could whittle it down
in seconds.

The fourth key was a critical
factor in making Michael the success
he is.

"Surround yourself with intelligent,
responsible people."

Michael always kept snapshots
of his trusted friends in his
wallet. Come to think of it, that
was about all you could ever find in
his wallet!

The excitement of the party
had almost been too much for
everyone. they decided to briefly
interrupt this spell-binding
"Success Story" and have Michael
open his many gifts.

Nobody had trouble buying
Michael a present. After all, what
can't you buy for a man who needs
everything?

After watching Michael open
his gifts, the anxious crowd was
eager to hear the fifth key to his
success. It was

Don't be a horse's ... behind.

Unfortunately, Michael
couldn't help himself. It was just
his nature.

The sage of Michael continued.
The next key to his success was

"Enjoy the sweet things in life."

There are many sweet things in
life: the presence of a wonderful
companion, adventure-filled vacations
and lots of money.

Whenever Michael wanted to enjoy
sweet things, he went to his pantry.
This was the only source of sweet
things for Michael.

The seventh key was vitally
important for social climbers like
Michael:

"Don't forget from whence
you came."

On his long climb up the ladder
of success, Michael never once
forgot his roots, He was to very
proud of all his ancestors.

To really be successful, you must

"Only play games you can win."

Talented individuals like
Michael pride themselves on their
athletic and business prowess.
Very few adults had ever beaten
Michael at any of his favorite
games. Everybody knew he would
have a temper tantrum if they did.

"Blow your own horn"

was certainly another vital part of
his success formula.

Everyone agreed that if Michael
didn't blow his own horn, nobody
would do it for him. In fact, he
kept stacks of horns and whistles
handy for all the important moments
in his life. Michael would do almost
anything to call attention to
himself!

Michael always maintained that, to be
successful, you must

"Picture yourself
as you want to be."

Michael thought that once he was
successful, his portrait would be
hung in the homes of all of his
friends.

Dear MIchael:

Now you know the ten keys to
the success in your life. We had
originally planned to have you say a
few word, but we remembered that
brevity is not one of your ten keys.

congratulations on yet another
"successful" year. Happy Birthday!

Dan

2003